NASA! That time you guys sent Michael Jordan to space to play basketball was the shit! I want to send my career into orbit by becoming the Media Relations Specialist for ya’lls. For years people have been begging them to give them some “space” and with my skillset in this roll I can now smother the whole world with “space”!
Sure I have been called a people person, idea guy, clutch player, visionary, messiah and renaissance man. And to be honest, it’s all true. I’m not a liar, unless you are a cop…speaking of which if I get this job if they contact you would you mind telling them I am working remotely from Oregon…I won’t bore you with the details.
Enough small talk let’s get down to brass tax because you have to figure out how we can all live on Mars and I have some Judge Judy to watch while my business partner keeps our agency afloat, here are the three reasons why you need me more than I need you.
1. I worked at Red Bull, they kinda almost went to space. So I feel like I have already been to second base with you.
2. I’m a fashionista. Sure you are changing the way the world looks at the universe but you need someone to help change the way you look to the world. Baggy white space suits are soooooo 1969 blah. I mean gag me. But skinny fit lavender leggings? That will make anyone want to moonwalk.
3. I’m an ideas guy. I bring an endless flood of ideas, stuff that no other professional would care to bring up, over and over again. Just spitballin here. You own space right? Let’s cross pollinate with what’s hot right now and send Vin Diesel into space; Fast and Furious On Uranus. BOOM! Box Office Gold!
Anyway I will wait for your call tomorrow with your initial offer and directions to my company space ship.
Rover Rover can I come over?
Luke P Seile
PS when we all have to move to Mars do you offer employee discounts?